I have a strong allergic response to people making promises on my behalf or assuming that I will do things without asking me.

In general, I am willing to be listed as a reference for almost anyone that I’ve met even briefly or corresponded with even a little bit- of course, keep in mind that I will tell the truth to anyone who calls me looking for a recommendation, including “Yeah, I barely know him but he’s a decent communicator on Twitter” or “I haven’t really talked to her much since college but she was pretty cool then.”

Ask me before listing me as a reference. Ask me for every specific usage of me as a reference- i.e. if you are telling both company X and company Y that I am a reference for you, ask me- before submitting my name anywhere- for each separate company. Or else I might say “oops, I didn’t know that I was a reference for that person to this company and I didn’t actually intend to be” and neither of us wants that point of confusion to be present in your job search.

If you are one of the people whom I’ve specifically told “Yeah, use me as a reference any time,” the above doesn’t apply unless, you know, we haven’t communicated for a year. Consent is a continuing process, not a one-time event.

Obviously always ask your references what kind of reference they would give; never assume that it will be entirely positive. Check out this great series of blog posts by Ask A Manager about references.